This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
