Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
