Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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