Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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