Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
