I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
