I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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