she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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