yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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