I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
