chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They took my balls.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
