can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
