glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
