I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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