PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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