my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
BRING THE BAGELS
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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