one two three fourrrrnication!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
