You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
