Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
