i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
