I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
