I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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