And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
