Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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