I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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