he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
