we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
