Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
