dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
