i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
