dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
