Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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