At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
