dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
