the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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