oh god the rape fog is back!
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
