I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
