Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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