Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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