I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
