playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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