o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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