I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
