i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
did i just pee glitter
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
