Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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