How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
