dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
