her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's shark week go big or go home
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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