You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
