what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
