but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The best revenge is premature balding
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
