we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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